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[16 Jun 2006|01:59pm] ahhhh im gunna update again!! My journal love has been revived for abit!! Its so ugly now though :/ ill try to make it look a little better lol. well now im baking cookies cause matts passed out in his basement. But i get to see X-men tonight!! yayyyyy!!!!!I <3 X-men! i always loved the cartoon when i was smalland the movie tend to be awsome. Cant wait!!! 1 Kiss me, kill me ♥ Love me

[02 May 2006|12:36am] pretty true test... the Observer Test finished! you chose BZ - your Enneagram type is FIVE. "I need to understand the world" Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful. How to Get Along with Me Be independent, not clingy. Speak in a straightforward and brief manner. I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts. Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable. Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity. If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place. don't come on like a bulldozer. Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy. What I Like About Being a Five standing back and viewing life objectively coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure not being caught up in material possessions and status being calm in a crisis What's Hard About Being a Five being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally Fives as Children Often spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on have a few special friends rather than many are very bright and curious and do well in school have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information assume a poker face in order not to look afraid are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected Fives as Parents are often kind, perceptive, and devoted are sometimes authoritarian and demanding may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages You liked the test? so please RATE it... but remember! it had only two questions!!! ;-) You are not completely happy with the result?! You chose BZ Would you rather have chosen: AZ (THREE) CZ (ONE) BX (NINE) BY (FOUR) My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 22% on ABC You scored higher than 0% on XYZ Link: The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test 2 Kiss me, kill me ♥ Love me

[20 Apr 2006|03:25am] Ingmar Bergman Your film will be 55% romantic, 36% comedy, 52% complex plot, and a $ 58 million budget. Your life will be portrayed on film as an intense psychological drama, likely with some actresses screaming at the camera (Persona), or maybe a pleasant chess game between the Grim Reaper and a Crusader (The Seventh Seal). This Swedish director's films are intensely scrutinzed and studied in colleges all over the world to this day. This means that most Americans still don't understand his films! Still alive, he released in the U.S. in 2005 his first film in 23 years (Saraband), and he can still take on one more project to make your film biography. If curious, start with his films Wild Strawberries and Smiles of a Summer Night. My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 67% on action-romance You scored higher than 46% on humor You scored higher than 92% on complexity You scored higher than 99% on budget Link: The Director Who Films Your Life Test written by bingomosquito on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test Love me

[12 Apr 2006|01:17pm] Iv read so many live reports that i cant even write one lol. The show was amazing. AMAZING! me and matt got there at like 6am and waited on line till 7pm lol. We made awsome line buddies and had so much fun. Just about everyone i talked to or was near was soo awsome. It just had an amazing vibe chilling on that line. Idk if its cause i dont know any other Diru fans but it was just amazing to meet all those people. When we got in we ran to the front and i was like 3rd row! Kinda far back being that i waited 13 hours, butsome people waited since 12 the night before! Ill have to do that next time nuahahhaha.....But the were amazing! I was right in front of Kyo, but a little to Dies side. PERFECT!!! they are soo hot in person! I thought they might be too thin or look a little bleh without makeup but they were soooo hot. Kyo looked amazing. And Die would steal my attention sometimes cause he looked so great too! But on to the impotant part, the music. They sounded amazing!! The sound system was eh but they still rocked. My favorite was the last song, child prey<3 so much energy in that! and the glow stick thing didnt work perfectly, but it made Kyo smile :) Hes soo expressive throughout the whole show! He never stops doing amazing moves and lookspeople dead in the eye. I had eye contact for like 1-2 seconds and ill never forget it<3 he cut the inside of his mouth and then went to punch it, but hit his nose :( he had tears and blood on his face. It was amazing to see but i felt like i wanted to cuddle him. he also broke down abit during another song and it was beautiful. hes just the best front man iv ever seen. amazing. and im right so much about this when i was tryig not too lol. I just cant wait till they come back. It was one of the best nights of my life and i cant wait to try it again. The band, tha fans, the baby, everything was great. Ill never forget it<3 Love me

[29 Mar 2006|09:46pm] im sosick :( i puked all day tues,was eh yesterday and thought i was better today.i got alchiholie and went to kendo and blahhhh i feelsick and have to leave. more puking awaits. i hate being sick. and all i wantis my baby to come cuddle me :( Love me

[26 Mar 2006|08:54pm] weeeeeee! Dir en grey is 2 weeks from tomorrow!! Ahhhh!! And their getting pretty good reviews here, like 8 outta 10 and stuff. **so proud** eiiiiiiiiii im excited!! I cant wait to see them! and i cant wait to meet other fans on line!! ahhhhhhhhh!! Love me

[22 Mar 2006|01:20pm] I havent posted in forever :/ Not that i dont have time or anything but im just too lazy to do it. Im seeing dir en grey soon!!! wahhhhhhh!!!! so fucking exciting! All tickets sold out in the first 12 hours of presale so im damn happy i got some! Lor brought her laptop to canada and i bought them while i was on vaca :) canada rocked hard, lots of sight seeing during the day and drinking at night lol. I played soo much drunk ddr. My dream of having people watch and clap for me came true<3 and uhh i could write alot but i wont cause long entries sux. Ill try to write more from now on though! Love me

[17 Jan 2006|06:47pm] I won I won I won!!!! hahahahahahhaha!!! Tales of symphonia!!!! 42 hours played in 9 days lol! i wooooooooooooon!!!!! Now to beat it withthe other characters! hahhahahha! Love me

[13 Jan 2006|01:11pm] dir en grey is playing sxsw!!!! haha i only know about that show from real world lol but it looks like goodpress for them here :) I really really REALLY hope it isnt their only show though, too much $$$. I mean they have to play new york right? you dont come to america to do shows and not play new york.....i hope. if they dont im prob gunna try to go to texas........but i hope not! an di dont think theyd fly all the way here for one 45 min show. but maybe im just comfering myself saying that lol. gah gah gah!!!! need.....to....see.....dir en grey!!!!! Love me

[09 Jan 2006|08:10pm] http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=46549 yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!! Love me

[06 Jan 2006|12:34am] me + baby = so happy! brake......getting better! new years resolution--- be happy, try my best, and always do whats best for me, dont put myslef second :) Love me

[29 Dec 2005|07:23pm] i always make depressing entrys lol. Iv been home a weekand shit has been bad about the whole time. My mom is just crazy. and im not just saying that, but a doctor said shes crazy and shold be commited. My dad hates me cause i wouldnt lend him $2,500 cash when he wouldnt even tell me what its for. And my bed is broken. Like you sit on it towards the bottom and the matress falls threw. The frame is too weak to hold me. and i probable wont be getting a new one during this break and it keeps getting worse. today it broke 3 times. This whole house just sucks. being at school makes me forget how truley horrible it is. i also dont have a parking space anymore so now when i get back from work at 3am i get to walk a few blocks in the freezing cold. I had a rough semester cause of all the stuff matt put me threw and now i get this. I hate this house. To make the whole entry not entierly sad ill post my x-mas gifts :) cause christmas was happy sicne i spend 0 time with my parents. pretty digi cam--parents blitz 5 day diru tour dvd-- baby average psycho diru videos-- baby h.naoto short-- baby build a bear bunny-- baby<3 nintendo ds-- baby sprung game for it-- baby sims 2 for psp-- baby pretty chopsticks-- baby really really pretty asain changing curtain-- baby<3 speedway junkie-- baby super size me-- baby lots of pretty shirts and pretty pretty group pictures-- lauren, lor, bri, lucia, and ashlin<3 i miss school so much!!!!!!!! and baby got me the bestest gifts ever<3 Love me

[15 Dec 2005|08:14pm] im hurt ,betrayed, heartbroken, and most of all alone. ......and im starting to get used to it. Love me

[12 Dec 2005|02:06am] :)!!!!! Love me

[08 Dec 2005|12:19am] so much workk that i feel like im guna explode. im so stressed :( 1 Kiss me, kill me ♥ Love me

[16 Nov 2005|06:01pm] happyest times are ahead<3 Love me

[15 Nov 2005|03:07pm] i did kendo practice today and it was so awsome. its really fun and i cant wait to take it. then i had to sit through horrrrrrible english forever. FOREVER! an dnow im off to study abit for a math midterm. i cant really study math and its so easy, but i have nothing better to do lol. so ill make sure i do great :) i was kinda in a daze all day cause i felt lonley, but im doing better then i was yesterday. whatevers gunna happen, if its amazing or horrible, wil happen no matter how sad i am. matt called me last ngiht and i just got the msg now. i wanna call him back but i figure ill let him call me back, incase he still isnt sure what he wants and was just extra sad last night. i hate nights apart an di hope so much that he loves me. Love me

[15 Nov 2005|08:58am] i work up worrying so much that i got a nosebleed. i keep think of what i want, a loving relationship, and what happens if he cant give that to me. if he doesnt want to be with me with like we were before and grow to be better, then i know what happens.....then i have to find someone that will.......then i have to take off the necklace he gave me......then i have to take our prom photos out of my room......so many painful things to do but the worst is thinking about being with someone else. i cant even think it with my brain let alone my heart. not once in almost two years have i wanted to be with anyone else. sure i dream of celebrities but a normal person.....never. and now he might not want to be with me as much as i want him, and then ill be alone. ill be more alone then i am right now and theyll be no one there to make me feel better. and ill need love. ill need someone to cuddle me. i dont have a family thatll help me out like he does. ill be alone. and i know ill need someone. maybe me thinking this is good cause it brings me closer to letting go but it hurts so much. i dont want anyone else. i dont i dont i dont. i want him and me to be happy. i want him to feel like im feeling now. i want it so bad i cant even explain. iv really been sitting here writting this for aout 20 mins cause im crying so much as i type i want it that bad..........but if he doesnt want this, if he doesnt want me, then me thinking like this is a good start. i cant just wait for him no matter how bad i want to. i need to force myself to suffer......and keep thinking like this. Love me

[15 Nov 2005|12:07am] v i lied, im crying abit. i read my list in the earlyer entry. why am i so weak for him, especailly at night. Love me

[14 Nov 2005|11:32pm] im not crying, but sleeping is so hard. Theres just this empty feeling inside me.... Love me

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